undone.

I feel like I haven't been exercising lately. which is untrue, because I did some hiking over the weekend. but the regular schedule has been left by the wayside. I can only blame the heat. or my laziness.

but something strange has happened. I've lost my love for the pool. and that was the main activity that was pulling me through these hot summer days. and to be honest, I don't think I've really lost my love, I've just lost my motivation. I go through these cycles with the PM masters swimteam. I love it, but I hate it. sometimes I just get home from work and want to eat dinner and have a normal night with my husband. so I skip masters. and once I've skipped it's easier to not go back. especially because going always makes me a little nervous each time--which is silly, because it's always fine; I can keep up. so I just need to get back in the water, I guess.

and running? I crave it. I think I am going to start ramping up the training again. a fall marathon is calling my name. this time no time-specific goals. I am just going to run and take what comes. no boston qualifyer. that will be saved for another year, another race. right now I just want to get out on the roads and run for me. to feel my body move.

I haven't been on my bike since the triathlon, I don't think. I keep meaning to, it just never seems to happen. I really need to get back out on that bike.

supposedly I'm doing another triathlon later this summer with a friend of mine. from the looks of my training, it seems like that might be crazy. {not that I trained all that much for the first one} maybe I'll just do a sprint and enjoy the day. pound it out as hard as I can and see how my body holds up to the stresses. it might be a fun experiment.

I'm dreaming of the days I can do my workouts when I want to. when I'm not held hostage by heat and time. come august 23rd it will be a lot easier to run in the mornings when I want to and not have to worry about being back by a certain time. that sounds like a dream to me now.

I want to get into a structured training program. have the time to do it. I want to see how far I can push myself. reach some of my athletic goals (i.e. boston + ironman) I want to become that endurance athlete deep down inside. but now is not the time. my training might seem like it has unravelled, but cutting back in these hot summer months is okay. I have time to build a base, a solid foundation. my goals will come to me all in due time.